28/32

When I was 28 I thought I knew everything. I trusted my instincts. I thought I knew where I was going to work. I thought I knew who I would be with. I thought I knew what my life was going to be, and where. Most were wiser than I was...told me not to make the decisions I was making, or take the path I was choosing. I didn't listen, because I was right. I didn't simply believe I was right, or know I was right. I *was* right. I had so thoroughly assured myself that not even someone who had traveled forward in time could've convinced me otherwise. It is now 4 years later, and in those 4 years I have learned more about myself and what I'm truly capable of (both good and bad) than I did in the first 28. I've felt the pain of loss and betrayal like I've never felt it. I know how it feels to be truly hungry and afraid of not being able to eat. I know how it feels to have one's freedom stripped away. I know how it feels to be broke - to have to sell things you love and need just to be able to make ends meet for one week. I've done such utterly stupid, careless, thoughtless things that I think if anyone truly knew the entire story they might not want to know me as a person. So 2 days ago I turned 32. The one thing I'm certain of is that I don't know anything, least of all about myself. And there is a great deal of freedom in that, because now nothing is written in stone. Tomorrow is always a new day, not just a relentless extrapolation of yesterday. I can forgive myself, and be forgiving. I know how much I love my family and my friends, and appreciate them now more than I ever did. I appreciate the things I have been given, both material, emotional and spiritual. So what is 32? 32 is a blessing. My blessing. Thank you for this day.